M-Cat

I have a physics test tomorrow. We’ve all been studying for it for far too long, as evidenced by the following story:

During a morning conversation with a few other postbacs about how screwed we all were, which somehow involved talking about someone’s dog, we got to talking about pets. A brilliant idea surfaced: We should get a postbac pet that can roam the halls of the continuing studies building (okay, perhaps not the best idea). ¬†We were talking about what we should name this hypothetical pet, and the thought suddenly popped into my head:

“We should get a cat and name it… <dramatic pause> M-Cat.” (aka medical college admissions test, for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about)

My friends smiled, laughed a little, and moved on. I, however, could not. The idea of M-cat began to root itself in my brain and expand, firm in its own belief that it was the Funniest Thing Ever. I came up with a hundred jokes in the next twenty minutes:

  • I’m gonna get a cat and name it M-Cat. Then I can be honest when I say I’m allergic to the MCAT. (The last time I visited a friend with a cat, named Cosmo, I had to take so many Benadryl that I couldn’t make a sentence with more than one clause).
  • The cat needs to be very friendly at first, then when you say the wrong thing to it start scratching the hell out of you.
  • We should take M-Cat and throw it around. Then we can say we passed the MCAT. In fact, we can paint it, then say we passed it with flying colors.
  • We can… okay, I’ll stop now.
You get the point. The rest of my day has been completely ruined. Case in point: during our seminar discussion on the American healthcare system (syllabus: everyone is fucked), I thought of an M-Cat joke – I won’t spell it out, but it involved getting a couple of kittens and calling them Practice M-Cats – and nearly had to get up and leave the room for fear of being overcome by giggles.
I know, I know, I’m procrastinating and should be studying instead of writing on my blog about things that no one actually cares about. Fine. I’ll go read my study materials: The instructions on the cat food I just bought in preparation for M-Cat.