It appears a cop in Shady Side, Maryland has taken my Rule 2 to heart! I was driving home from the Chesapeake Bay (vacation between classes, woo) on a two-lane rural road and I was stuck behind a long line of cars. Of course, the guy at the front was driving an Oldsmobile about 15 miles an hour below the speed limit. It’s one thing to drive under the speed limit when people can go around you, but when there’s only one lane and no passing areas for miles? FUCK YOU, MAN! At least have the decency to pull over every ten minutes to let the thirty-six cars behind you go by.
Sorry. Anyway, upon passing a funeral home (searching for a metaphor, searching…), I was jolted out of my seething reverie when an unmarked, jet-black Crown Vic pulled out directly next to me and turned on its lights. I was jolted by this because there was oncoming traffic, and this cop was heading right for it. Luckily, people pulled out of the way, and the cop sped off down the centerline as pickup trucks scattered into ditches on the sides of the road. About six minutes later (honestly, that’s how far back from the lead slowpoke I was), I see the cop looking in the window of the offending Oldsmobile.
JUSTICE! THERE IS JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD! I don’t care if the guy had a taillight out or if the ticket he was about to get was actually for holding up traffic; all I care about is that he’s off the road.
So here’s to you, Mr. Unmarked Police Car Operator Camped Out In The Funeral Home. The People salute you.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention: I’m now writing for a site called Tobacco Road Blues, dedicated to the UNC-Duke rivalry. I’ll be writing mostly pro-UNC pieces (obviously, considering my alma mater) on a regular basis. The place is brand-new but has some really good content and authors on board. Check it out. My most recent piece is here.
Less than a week left…