(The title? Sound it out. Get it? Eh?!)
I have spent the last two weeks learning about and discussing pee.
There are many different kinds of pee. Clear pee. Dark pee. Red pee. Orange pee. Foamy pee. Smelly pee. Oh, there’s more. Continue reading
Classes
Commonest Erythematous Palpation, Status Post
When I was a postbac student shadowing doctors in the hospital, I learned that medical centers have a status hierarchy all their own. It resembles a cult, actually. I wrote about this in “Medicine Dress Code:” medical students wear short white coats, residents have slightly longer coats, and attendings – highest on the seniority ladder – have near-wizard length, Merlin-style white robes. I have no idea where this custom originated or why it persists, but it is helpful in quickly indicating who you don’t want to irritate.
What I didn’t realize is that the medical world goes further into cult-dom than I originally thought. In fact, medicine has its own language entirely. Continue reading
Tearin’ Up (Someone Else’s) Heart
(Did you catch the 90’s song reference?)
As I’ve mentioned before, we’re currently in the middle of the “Homeostasis” block, where we cycle through systems of the body – the heart, the kidneys, and the lungs. An integral part of most medical educations involves something called “organ recitals.”
An organ recital is a session where small groups of med students cluster around a pathologist and a cart. The cart is filled with organs, all covered by smelly, formalin-soaked rags. The expectation with organ recitals is that you come prepared to apply your Powerpoint knowledge of anatomy to real, excised organs. Continue reading
No Pants Required
(I guarantee you this is not what it sounds like.)
Last week, we began a new unit, called “Homeostasis.” I am wholly unclear what “homeostasis” means, but it sounds important. The previous unit was all about the various infections you could catch and how your body tried and/or failed to fight them off; this unit is about the heart, lungs, and kidneys.
Everything about the heart, lungs, and kidneys. Continue reading
We Are All Going To Die (Medical Student Syndrome)
[Note to my classmates reading this: I know this isn’t exactly what’s in your lecture notes. Shut up and smile. Then go back to studying Th2 cells, because we both know you don’t know them.]
[Note to my mom: don’t read this, you won’t sleep until Thanksgiving.]
Hi. My name is Nate, and I’m a medical student.
Hi, Nate!
This week, my ninety-nine classmates and I are about to take the final exam for our second block. It’s called Microbes and Immunity, and can be briefly described as “how your body fights off infection, and by the way here are some examples of the thousands and thousands of different ways you can get sick and/or die.” Continue reading
The Spinal Exam, Sort-Of-Not-Really
I’ve written before in “The First Patient!” that a major component of the medical school curriculum is the physical diagnosis course. PDX, as it’s called, is a long-term course that teaches medical students the hands-on skills needed to examine patients. It’s kind of important. Continue reading
The College Cup! (About That Noncompetitive Thing…)
Part of my school’s central mission in educating medical students is to keep its students well. We have built-in retreats, access to mental health resources, and a variety of clubs designed specifically to promote wellness. The capstone of the program is this: once a year, the entire school comes together to compete in an almost-two day competition called College Cup. As I’ve mentioned before, we’re divided into four “colleges,” Hogwarts-style, primarily for the purpose of small group learning and logistics. But during College Cup, people don their colors, swag out with Thunderstix and tanks and masks (?) and Braveheart-style body paint, and yell themselves hoarse. Continue reading
#Shredded
Yesterday, the dean of the medical school (and the second-in-command of the entire medical center) invited all the first years over to his house for a “picnic.” This is an annual tradition at my medical school and is a well-attended, casual affair. In the original invitation (which we received on Day One of orientation), the message states, “You Will Swim.” Continue reading
The First Patient! (Sort Of)
When my grandfather attended medical school back in the day, students had very little (if any) hands-on training with patients until the third year, when they rotated through the hospital wards. Medical schools now recognize the imperative to expose their future doctors to doctoring early and often and many advertise “PATIENT CONTACT ON DAY 1!!” as a selling point for their institution, right next to the pictures of smiling attractive young people in white coats fluidly wielding their stethoscopes. Continue reading
What It’s Like To Take a (Practice) MCAT
You’re ready. As countless people have told you, this entire year has been preparation for this. You are prepared to prepare for the MCAT, the test that will determine your medical school admission chances. Well, that, and whether medical schools are willing to overlook that bio lab grade. Um.
You’re motivated. Your final exams are over, you unwound with dinner and drinks, and your batteries are recharged. Time to tackle this five-hour bastard head-on and show it what you know. Continue reading
crashing resident 