All Systems Go

When I last wrote about being in the intensive care unit, I was coming off a three-month research stint where my primary job was perfecting the art of appearing busy while actually doing nothing. I achieved true expertise in this area and earned commendations for my efforts, if not for my actual research. Continue reading

The Coming Reckoning

Two things right up front:

With that said, I write this post while experiencing a fairly complex, ebbing and flowing mix of trepidation, desperation, apathy, and outright nihilism. These are the emotions of a compromised fourth year student with a willpower wellspring shallower than a lunchbox. When you do nothing for almost three months, your brain atrophies; at this point, all I’m really capable of doing is following the smells of free food and clicking “Yes, I’m Still Watching” on the Netflix popup. This bodes poorly for my ICU rotation starting tomorrow. Continue reading

Working with Stanley Goodspeed

Warning: this post is profoundly nerdy. However, if you caught the title reference, you’ll enjoy it anyway.

In June, I was supposed to take this great class/clinical elective hybrid that focused on trauma and the body’s response to “injury.” Due to a variety of reasons, though (#1 being that the class had a reputation for being way too hard for a burnt-out third year student like me) the section didn’t meet minimum enrollment and was canceled. I was left scrambling for something to do. Continue reading

Impostor Syndrome XXVII

Okay, so, my plan to write more and not less during Nate’s Summer Away From Home has not panned out. I probably should have expected that an audition/away rotation would take up more of my time than I thought, but I was pretending otherwise.

To recap, I spent last month taking shifts in the ED at a large county hospital on the West Coast. Like everything else here, it will remain unnamed out of the remote possibility that I can be identified. Continue reading

Resuscitation! (or, Impostor Syndrome II)

So it turns out that when you are on your research block you have absolutely nothing to write about. Patients are funny, residents are funny, and hapless medical students are hilarious, but there is absolutely nothing funny about research. My project is in the field of medical education, which I find intellectually stimulating and worthwhile but primarily involves attending meetings, reading journal articles that freely use phrases like “cognitive load” and “contextually embedded orchestration of skills,” and sitting in front of a computer. Continue reading