Disclaimer: not funny.
My first thought walking out of my organic chemistry test last night – yes, last night – was, “Pitz would have killed me.” Dr. Pitz, one of my favorite professors in undergrad, taught a psychology class called “Decision Theory.” The whole principle of the class was that people are irrationally rational – that is, they behave in predictably stupid ways. Continue reading
First day of classes post? Nope. As a brief summary, we only had 2 classes today – both in the morning – and they were typical first-day fare, which means no homework. So upon exiting the physics building, us postbacs milled around for fifteen minutes with a clear lack of purpose and direction. Eventually, someone mentioned that the JCrew Warehouse was having a bin sale. Continue reading
ALL RIGHT!
It appears a cop in Shady Side, Maryland has taken my Rule 2 to heart! I was driving home from the Chesapeake Bay (vacation between classes, woo) on a two-lane rural road and I was stuck behind a long line of cars. Of course, the guy at the front was driving an Oldsmobile about 15 miles an hour below the speed limit. It’s one thing to drive under the speed limit when people can go around you, but when there’s only one lane and no passing areas for miles? FUCK YOU, MAN! At least have the decency to pull over every ten minutes to let the thirty-six cars behind you go by.
Sorry. Anyway, upon passing a funeral home (searching for a metaphor, searching…), I was jolted out of my seething reverie when an unmarked, jet-black Crown Vic pulled out directly next to me and turned on its lights. I was jolted by this because there was oncoming traffic, and this cop was heading right for it. Luckily, people pulled out of the way, and the cop sped off down the centerline as pickup trucks scattered into ditches on the sides of the road. About six minutes later (honestly, that’s how far back from the lead slowpoke I was), I see the cop looking in the window of the offending Oldsmobile.
JUSTICE! THERE IS JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD! I don’t care if the guy had a taillight out or if the ticket he was about to get was actually for holding up traffic; all I care about is that he’s off the road.
So here’s to you, Mr. Unmarked Police Car Operator Camped Out In The Funeral Home. The People salute you.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention: I’m now writing for a site called Tobacco Road Blues, dedicated to the UNC-Duke rivalry. I’ll be writing mostly pro-UNC pieces (obviously, considering my alma mater) on a regular basis. The place is brand-new but has some really good content and authors on board. Check it out. My most recent piece is here.
Less than a week left…
The osprey have chosen.
An osprey (plural: osprey, which creates some confusion) is a large raptor bird that runs shit out here on the Chesapeake Bay. They build their giant nests on top of elevated platforms out of the biggest sticks they can get airborne, because the osprey hunt so goddamn much that the female doesn’t have time to sit around on her butt and warm eggs. Thus, they build a nest big enough to keep the eggs warm enough just by itself, then go out and massacre more fish. Continue reading
Yesterday, I drove back to Maryland and had to spend a few hours in the car all by my lonesome. After driving behind two Oldsmobile-driving octogenarians intent on synchronizing their speed and location to effectively block the passage of all traffic for thirty miles, I have decided there need to be changes in the traffic laws. Implemented correctly, this will solve everything except D.C. traffic, because nothing short of the Rapture will remove enough volume from the Beltway to make a noticeable difference. Continue reading
Yesterday I went for a run to de-stress from preparing for a big test we took this morning (this explains my long absence, by the way). I ran my customary route to the opposite side of campus, but then decided I should run a bit of trail seeing as I’m supposed to be training for a Tough Mudder run in October.
So I set off, full of ambition and energy, into the woods. As many of you know, I have a sense of direction that rivals Mr. Magoo’s level of blindness. I decided to run only straight, then turn around when I got tired to avoid getting lost. Continue reading
I’ve had a number of requests from people wanting to read “Coffee Detox;” in the interest of ease of access, I’m reposting the story here. It’s a short tale of my experience proving to myself that I’m only psychologically addicted to caffeine, and that my willpower is stronger than this fake addiction. Enjoy! Continue reading
If you read “OH SH*T IT’S KATHY BATES!,” you’ll know that lab work here in general chemistry can be accurately referred to as a hostile work environment. Between being hustled by the TA’s, KB running in to strike fear in everyone’s hearts, and a general lack of understanding of what the hell we’re supposed to do, being in that room takes years off your life. A good example came on just our second day of lab. Continue reading
Last night was one of the most absurd experiences of my entire life.
Eight or nine other postbacs and I went to see “Bad Teacher,” a movie whose only redeeming features are a fat kid getting hit in the face with a dodgeball (always funny, under any circumstances), gratuitous use of boobs (another running theme of this story, fyi) and internally comparing the peppy insane teacher, Ms. Squirrel, with all my Teach For America friends. You know what I mean. Continue reading
(Also known as “Get Your Shit Together.”)
Hi!
I’ve decided to start this blog as an outlet for the inevitable stressors, complications, hilarious stories, and small victories associated with a major life change – a career shift that will hopefully result in an M.D. Those of you that know me well know that becoming a doctor has always been a super-long-term, back-burner idea of mine, but until as recently as six months ago I had my sights set firmly on a different future.
Around the beginning of 2011 (likely conceived during a late-night New Year’s Eve conversation with my ex-boss and current close friend Ali), all that began to change. The next few months – a story by itself – would lead me to apply, interview, and accept a spot in a post-baccalaureate premedical program. For the uninitiated, a “postbac,” as it’s called, is an intensive one- or two-year course of study designed for people who have decided their future and passion lies in medicine, but who didn’t take the premed track as an undergraduate.
After some international traveling to Greece, Chile, and Argentina – the highlight of my life so far – I started with general chemistry in early June. I’ll be here until summer of 2012, slogging through organic chemistry, physics, and biology, while picking up volunteer and shadowing opportunities at a world-leading hospital.
I’m going to try to do three things with this blog:
1) Keep it mostly funny and light, excluding this unfunny first post. If you’ve ever met a premedical undergraduate, you know their chief occupation besides studying involves complaining and telling everyone who isn’t on the premed track how horrible and busy their lives are until you simply want to scream SHUT UP I DON’T CARE THAT ORGANIC CHEM IS HARDER THAN MY PSYCHOLOGY CLASSES OR THAT EVERYONE HAS A 34 AVERAGE. You’ve heard that before, but you probably haven’t heard the lighter side of forcing 28 people to spend an entire year under what amounts to one roof while being hazed with said organic chem and physics. Unless you’re my parents, you definitely don’t care about a woe-is-me narrative about how I have three tests next week; I suspect you’ll instead be interested to hear the story about my fellow postbac who accidentally hooked up her Bunsen burner to a high-pressure sink faucet and created an eighteen-foot-high waterspout.
2) Keep it largely anonymous. Many of you know where I am and the names of my friends and professors, but I’d prefer to keep this a little lower-key to protect the privacy of others. I’m sure I’ll slip in places, but hopefully the narrative is strong enough to carry itself without needing accurate names or places.
3) Keep you updated. Many of you also know that I’m notoriously phone-averse; this blog provides both a selfish avenue for self-aggrandizement and keeping those I care about in the loop at the same time. Win-win.
That’s enough “keeps” for now. In an ideal world, I’ll be able to update with a couple of funny stories before classes start up again on Tuesday; stay tuned, and welcome to the blog!
PS: If you were wondering, the title of this inaugural post is a reference to our summer chemistry teacher, an adorably brilliant and quirky teacher who has been drilling “Step One: Get Organized” into our heads for three non-stop weeks. I’m sure there will be plenty of stories with him involved; for now, consider this my organizing step.
crashing resident 