(Not that kind of phalanx.)
My last post was three weeks ago, because just about three weeks ago this happened:
The B Pod
My emergency medicine rotation has ended, and all I want to do is go back to the ER.
Actually that’s a lie. All I actually want to do is sit on my couch and do my best Fat Bastard impersonation by watching eight hours of NFL Red Zone. Which, if we are being honest, is exactly what I am going to do. Being between blocks in the third and fourth years is a little bit like getting a 48-hour pass from prison: no responsibilities, no homework, no email if you don’t want it, and nothing to do. Continue reading
Bright Lights, Shiny Objects
This week I started my emergency medicine month and I am a kid in a freaking candy store.
I’ve loved emergency medicine, or the concept of it, since I was sixteen years old when I first took a lifeguarding class. I did this so that I could spend my summers on staff at jewcamp getting tan instead of shepherding campers around, because I am lazy and vain. Continue reading
Wharton’s Jelly
As I mentioned last week, I’m currently taking a hybrid classroom/clinical duties course centered around immunology and the immunocompromised patient. I’ve just finished a week on the stem cell transplant unit, where most patients have received a bone marrow transplant to treat leukemia. In general, these patients come to the hospital for one of three reasons:
- To get their bone marrow transplant;
- Their leukemia relapsed;
- They developed an awful complication called graft-vs-host disease.
I Forgot Everything
Hello, welcome back to medical school. I hope you had a good vacation after taking your board exams, because guess what YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING YOU ONCE KNEW ABOUT MEDICINE. It is absolutely shocking how stupid I am. Again.
(I know, I know, sorry Mom but it’s true.) Continue reading
Back To School III
On Monday my glorious vacation, filled with pool time and Tiller the dog and beer, ends with a sickening, wet plop – the sound my emotions make as they hit the poorly sterilized hospital floor.
I’m only being slightly dramatic. It could be worse: I could be back in biochemistry hell, which the current first years are just wrapping up. Sucks to be them. Continue reading
DONE WITH STEP ONE
I feel like this.
I HAVE FINISHED STEP 1. I. HAVE FINISHED. STEP ONE.
(Did you read that in Tom Hanks’ voice? I did.) Continue reading
Taking a (Practice) Step 1 Exam
When I started my embarrassingly long trek toward medical school three years ago, I studied for and took the MCAT. That exam was hands down the worst testing experience I’ve ever had – a six-hour MonsterTest covering basic science. I wrote about the studying process while cloistered in isolation in my Charlottesville apartment, where I didn’t see the sun for three or four days at a time. It was often hard to stay focused, which I covered.
Periodically I would take a practice test, a soul-sucking exercise in self-flagellation that I, of course, also wrote about. Continue reading
Rules for Step 1
I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been in a hole these last couple weeks studying for Step 1, or “the boards” as it is colloquially known. Step 1 is the first of three licensing exams you have to take to become a doctor.
Which, of course, means that Step 1 has almost nothing to do with doctoring. It’s not that bad a test, actually, it’s just incredibly challenging to assess medical knowledge. Step 1, for instance, focuses on the basic science – the science underpinnings to how the body works and what goes wrong in disease. Future exams, like Step 2 and 3, focus on the bigger picture of diagnosis and treatment. Continue reading
We Need To Talk About Your PET Scan
This is not funny, so if you’re not in the mood for some serious, come back later.
Yesterday was my last day of inpatient medicine for the entire year. I have two weeks of outpatient clinic left and a shelf, but for all practical purposes we’ve completed our clinical year. It’s terrifying to think that in a typical curriculum, I’d be applying for residencies right now. Oh god.
The night before my last day, my team admitted a gentleman, whom we’ll call Mr. P. He came in after hours with a months-long history of difficulty peeing and some blood in his urine. Why he chose to address this in the ER in the middle of the night, I have no idea.
(I have, of course, changed many details here for privacy reasons.) Continue reading
crashing resident 